Ajay Sketch!

Hmmm...

Being a new mom presents a number of oddities that I thought "would never" happen to me. Yet these things--and more--have been happening regularly to the point of being habitual. I've had multiple instances of the dislodged nursing pad. I've had a serious case of the (not my) pee-soaked jeans. And I've also had a not so rare occurrence of the what's-that-stuck-on-my-skin-oh-it's-a-giant-booger, too. It is also a regular part of my daily regimen to have spit-up crusted to some or most parts of me. But there are some things that I never imagined would ever happen. Well, at least not to me. Let me explain.

Most of the women I know who have children all warned and joked about having "pregnant-brain." I experienced a lot of tongue-tiedness during pregnancy where I would get stuck hissing words beginning with the letter 'S' and puttering out words starting with a 'P.' Unfortunately, I didn't know "pregnant-brain" meant that I would have NO brain once the baby was born.

Not only do I still have a loss for words, but I have forgotten how to speak altogether. I'll be chattering along and then suddenly, I'll realize that I've derailed! And there's no use getting back on track because by the time I've figured out what happened, I don't remember what the point was. Yikes.

Along with speech hazards, I have personal hygiene issues that seem harmless to any by-standards except the first one on the list. The rest have an effect on my dignity!

It has been very hot out lately and I noticed, on more than several occasions, I've forgotten deodorant for one or both of my underarms. Sure? Unsure?

Since I've been trying to avoid forgetting things, I have been gradually wearing less and less makeup over the past months, which means when I do choose to put some on, I add mascara to the basic concealer and blush. One day I saw my reflection and only had one set of eyelashes painted. Thankfully I saw it before I walked out the door. I'd rather have had no makeup on at all than be a one eyed weirdo in public!

Underwear are not optional. Neither is putting them on rocket science. I haven't neglected putting them on, so hopefully wearing them inside-out isn't a sign of me losing my marbles!

So, with the not so obvious, new-mom blunders I've experienced, I must remind myself that it's not that I've gone mad or lost my wits about me. It's just that now, I have someone else to think about all the time! Goodbye self.

And that's worth a billion bloopers, don't you know?